Last night Sawyer colicked. The bad kind. The desperate, throwing himself on the ground, grinding himself into the dirt, really bad kind. So, all of my dithering and indecision about how bad he really was, whether I could/should keep him going despite the look in his eyes over the last several months - all of that is over.
Panic in the dark, ask John to stay with him while I gather supplies. Scramble for my headlamp, a tube of sedation, injectable banamine and syringe/needles. Find my gun muffs and get back out there. Send John for his rifle. Then wait for the sedation to take effect so Sawyer could stand still.
There was no sense calling a vet, I've helped enough clients through the same situation enough times, and I know my horse. And I don't like injectable euthanasia for horses. It's too slow and they can make it just into the excitatory stage and do backward cartwheels. It's very dangerous and ugly.
Sawyer was shortly more comfortable with the drugs onboard, and he passed quickly and painlessly. He doesn't have to suffer anymore. I miss him. I miss our complicated feeding routine. I will miss our uncomplicated rides, very much. There aren't many horses as good as him. What a good boy. We sure have been lucky to have known him.
If anyone has any recommendations for someone to make tail hair keepsakes, I'd live to hear them. I'm thinking a mecate and a hat band.
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4 comments:
There is a certain peace about knowing when it’s the right time. I would love to have sedative and Injectable Banamine on hand. We put them down the same way, and it’s quick and humane. Sorry for your loss, but you do it all you could do. RIP good old boy.
Very sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry that Sawyer had to leave you. He is so lucky to have a family that loved him until the end. I know there are several people who make horse hair jewelry on Etsy, but I haven't had any personal experience with them.
Just reading this now (Dec. 1), with that awful feeling of fear & grief -- when it happens, how it happens, whether we might somehow have predicted it, these are things beyond our ken. Your level-headed response helps those of us who tend to panic in crisis. So very sorry for your loss. The end of the trail.
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