I had a dream the other night that I found all my lost spoons outside Tonka's empty stall. (I don't actually have any spoons missing, that I know of.) That morning I thought about the dream a lot, because I knew it was important. I think the spoons signified my love for him. I had taken my best spoons and used them to mix his grain and medicines, as I have done daily in reality for years (but not with my best spoons). They were lying dirty and unused in a place where he no longer was. I was gathering them up to wash them so they could be used again.
I was thinking about looking at another horse. A well broke horse, a nice horse, with lots of personality. Not a mustang. And I was thinking, "but I haven't washed my spoons yet." I didn't know if I could just jump into the saddle on a new horse. I wasn't sure I was ready.
Turns out I wasn't. I went to see the horse today and it was really upsetting. He wasn't the horse, I knew right away. I don't know why, but it made me cry. Embarrassing, in front of a complete stranger. She probably thinks I'm nuts. Oh well. She knew Tonka's story, hopefully she understands.
I went home really sad, not sure if I could get excited about a new horse. I knew for sure I didn't want someone else's old horse though, that I needed to start fresh, begin again. I kept thinking of the Sheepshead gelding I've picked out. When I got home I had an email asking if I still wanted to go ahead with adopting him. Most definitely, yes!
Anyway, after I got that email I got excited about my new boy. I wasn't sure I could get excited, but I did! I started doing some repairs to the mustang pen, and it felt good. I can't wait to get some more information. This waiting with no word is kind of hard to handle.
Still no word on Tonka's necropsy either. I guess I'll have to call and bother them about it.