Sunday, July 26, 2009


What a time I've had since I've seen you last. Got some really bad news, took a quicker trip than planned, and now we're home. Why the hurried trip? My sister got the call last Wednesday that her breast biopsy results were back, but her doctor wouldn't talk to her over the phone, told her to come in and talk it over in person, and not to bring the kids with her. She has stage 3 breast cancer. Invasive lobular carcinoma, to be precise. But that's about as precise as we can get just yet. She got a miraculous quick appointment with an oncologist, scheduled for tomorrow morning, and we'll have more information soon.

We all decided to leave on Thursday for the family reunion as planned. It was good to have some distraction, but it's been kind of a hellish weekend anyway. Oh, but back to what I was going to say. Right before we left I went to check on the boys and found Tonka breathing very strangely. I think he was just breathing funny because he'd just woken up from a very deep sleep, but it did lead me to stick my thumbs up his nostrils and I found a grape sized swelling way up in his left nostril, partially obstructing his breathing. So I'm worrying about that too. I checked it and it seems the same, except maybe harder, and he didn't want me fooling around with it this time so maybe it hurts now. The vet wasn't too concerned when I called him, but he said we'll definitely need to have it looked at if it doesn't get smaller within a week, or if it gets bigger.

I need a vacation from reality, because somehow my reality is all screwed up. This can't be happening in my family. Stuff like this happens to other people, not us. Amy kept waking up thinking it had all been a dream and then realizing it was real, and reality was worse than the nightmares she was having. She's not sleeping well at all. Neither would I if my doctor told me to keep in mind that although there are treatments, this is life threatening.

Thanks for listening. I'll try to keep this blog on-topic with the horse stuff, but I may need to vent my worries as well, and I might not be here as often.

Oh, and some more sad news - Goldie's chicks are gone. Something got them sometime yesterday or last night. Probably one of my cats. I think I'll not try the egg-hatching thing again.

9 comments:

Jessie said...

Andrea, I am sending good thoughts and prayers your way. I know what it's like to find out a loved one has cancer. It's your blog, so don't feel bad getting what you need to off your chest. We are all here to listen and support you, whether it's horse related or not!

Kara said...

I'm very sorry, Andrea. I wish there was something more to say that could make things better. Feel free to vent. It's not just a blog about horses...we all use them for other purposes too. The blog is meant to be an outlet for us. I'll be thinking about you and your family...

Kate said...

Very sorry to hear your sister's news - but there are good treatments now so keep that top of mind. Thinking of you and yours.

Cheryl Ann said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. Yes, there ARE treatments for this. Sending prayers your way, too.

arlene said...

Andrea, I didn't know Amy before but the way described her fears really made me feel like I know her and I certainly feel for her.

Please vent as much as you need to. My cousin in England is going through the same thing right now.

Many of us are familiar with the feeling that every thing that can go wrong is going wrong and the world becomes a very dark and scary place. Things will get better. Best wishes to you all, you're in my thoughts.

arlene said...

Also, Sorry about Goldie's chicks and Tonka's nose thing.

Pony Girl said...

Andrea, I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. When it rains it pours sometimes. Life can change in the blink of an eye. I've already been in tears all morning over the loss of my sister's friends' new horse, it was so tragic. Sometimes we don't understand the "why us??" I am sending warm thoughts and prayers your way. I hope that you can figure out what Tonka's swelling is, too!

Lea and her Mustangs said...

That is why we don't let our chickens hatch their eggs.
I am so sorry about your sister. I will keep you in my prayers - her I mean and you. It affects everyone. Please don't worry about sharing your fears and thoughts in your blog. Mine wanders off too but its my blg and that is what I am thinking that day.

Linda said...

Andrea--I'm so sorry to hear this for your sister. Like Arlene said--bad things seem to come in groups for some reason. And like Kate said--and maybe Kara, too--the treatments they have now are very good--so there is a lot to hope for.

I hope your sister does keep very active with the horses through this to have a diversion and to have another source of comfort.

I shared with you on my blog before about having melanoma--but mine was caught very early it turned out. Still, the thought of having your body turn on you so fast was very disheartening to me.

Please tell your sister I'm thinking about her, praying for her, and I hope she surrounds herself with the people, animals and things she LOVES. And, the same for you, Andrea--because I know it affects the whole family.