Thursday, December 30, 2010

My test results are back and I'm fine! So now I can go on with my life. Having that hanging over my head has kept me from looking for a job or thinking about going back to school, planning out Scout's training, planning my year of rides with Tonka, or planning much of anything at all. I just had to sit back and wait to see if I'd even be able to do anything this year. Because I've seen what cancer treatment can do to a person in a year... But now I don't have to worry about it. It's going to take some time to adjust. I think I made myself a little sick with worry today too, while I waited for the results. So my equilibrium is still a bit off.

I learned a few things from this though. I'm not always as strong as I think I am, and that's okay. Also, my rational mind and my emotional mind don't seem to communicate very well. No matter how much I told myself everything was going to be fine, even if the results were bad, I was still a mess today while I waited for the doctor to call.

When I did finally get a call it was the nurse and she said I should have gotten a letter with the results. For a test two days ago? So now I'm wondering if she was looking at the right results? But she did say MRI, not the tests from last week. I'm not used to my doctor being that inattentive. Apparently I'll be getting a letter as well, so it will confirm the good results and make me feel better about it all. And now I'm wondering, since we know what it isn't, what is it? What can I do about it? Because the darn thing hurts!

Back to horse related things now, I promise. I have a new drive to get out there and at least be with my horses a bit more. Of course, now the highs are in the teens... I need to treat a case of rain rot (I think) on Tonka's neck, and I'm going to try out that new Vetericyn stuff. What else... Scout had his forelock full of cockleburrs this morning. From the one bush out there. I tried to get rid of it but it was too tough for the tools I had at the time. And of course the colt found it. Going to have to go remove it soon.

I think tomorrow I might write about resolutions, or rather plans (because resolutions are for breaking, right?), for the next year.


arlene said...

I'm glad the MRI was fine. I understand how you felt and I had a feeling it was fine but I knew you'd be scared to death waiting. I bet it's a cyst. I had them about 25 years ago and my doctor told me to take vitamin E, which helped.

Kate said...

That's very good news! If it's a cyst, or fibrocystic changes, sometimes cutting down on the caffeine will help.

Have a great New Year!

Tracey said...

Big hugs, Andrea! Yeah...stress and worry can make us feel so much worse. Glad you're good to go so you can conquer those goals. And yes, resolutions are for breaking!

Linda said...

That's good to hear--I'm glad it came back fine and you can put it behind you and plan your new year.

Tina said...

Great to hear you are in the clear! I've had some lumps checked over the years and mine are all harmless fatty lumps like what old dogs get. :P Maybe yours are too!

Anyway, good to hear you can start planning for the coming year. XXX

Gina said...

glad to hear you are going to be ok :) and that you learned something about yourself and now have goals to look forward too. Never ending self improvement!

~Gina Chianello
Parelli Central