My test results are back and I'm fine! So now I can go on with my life. Having that hanging over my head has kept me from looking for a job or thinking about going back to school, planning out Scout's training, planning my year of rides with Tonka, or planning much of anything at all. I just had to sit back and wait to see if I'd even be able to do anything this year. Because I've seen what cancer treatment can do to a person in a year... But now I don't have to worry about it. It's going to take some time to adjust. I think I made myself a little sick with worry today too, while I waited for the results. So my equilibrium is still a bit off.
I learned a few things from this though. I'm not always as strong as I think I am, and that's okay. Also, my rational mind and my emotional mind don't seem to communicate very well. No matter how much I told myself everything was going to be fine, even if the results were bad, I was still a mess today while I waited for the doctor to call.
When I did finally get a call it was the nurse and she said I should have gotten a letter with the results. For a test two days ago? So now I'm wondering if she was looking at the right results? But she did say MRI, not the tests from last week. I'm not used to my doctor being that inattentive. Apparently I'll be getting a letter as well, so it will confirm the good results and make me feel better about it all. And now I'm wondering, since we know what it isn't, what is it? What can I do about it? Because the darn thing hurts!
Back to horse related things now, I promise. I have a new drive to get out there and at least be with my horses a bit more. Of course, now the highs are in the teens... I need to treat a case of rain rot (I think) on Tonka's neck, and I'm going to try out that new Vetericyn stuff. What else... Scout had his forelock full of cockleburrs this morning. From the one bush out there. I tried to get rid of it but it was too tough for the tools I had at the time. And of course the colt found it. Going to have to go remove it soon.
I think tomorrow I might write about resolutions, or rather plans (because resolutions are for breaking, right?), for the next year.