I'm feeling a little weird lately. I haven't said more than a couple words to my horses this week. I've been spring cleaning. I've been working. I've been worn out at the end of the day.
I feel like I'm in a state of potentiality. Like when the stream is caught in an eddy, whirling, gaining energy, but not going anywhere... yet. And I don't feel like I can (or want to) shape the direction I'm heading. Yet. I feel like I'm waiting, whirling, energizing, and the waiting is difficult. Normally I can wait calmly. Or maybe I'm not normally waiting, maybe I'm normally sitting stagnant. Right now I really wish I could direct this energy somewhere, but I don't know where it's going yet. I know that wherever I'm headed is right. I just have to wait, and make ready to flow back out into the river again, then start paddling.
Maybe I'm crazy. (I bet I sound crazy.) Maybe it's springtime in my bones, wanting to burst forth. Maybe it's this supplement I'm on. Maybe I'm getting healthier? Maybe I ate too much salad today. Who knows.
I'm not discounting the possibility that nothing huge is going to change in my life. That maybe all this means is that my house will be cleaner. But that's a change for the positive, and bigger than it sounds. I'll take it. :)